Breaking the Silence: Tips to Help Shy Kids Speak Up and Shine

As a parent, you want your child or children to be happy and healthy. You’d do anything for them. You want to make sure that their wants and needs are being met. You may even attempt to read their mind or finish their sentences so that you can avoid them having a meltdown or temper tantrum.

Caring for your child, being there for them, loving them, and wanting what’s best for them isn’t a bad thing. What can turn into a bad thing is not letting them grow up, try new things, or experience life for themselves. Wanting to keep your child safe is amazing, but you can’t keep them locked in your house or in your protective bubble forever.

If you keep just giving them what they want or not letting them ask for what they want and need, you may actually be hindering them instead of helping them.

It’s time to break the silence. Here are some tips to help shy kids speak up and shine.

Avoid Labeling

Try not to label your child as “shy”. The more a child hears that they’re shy or that a person in their life like their primary caregiver or teacher thinks that they’re shy, the more that they will act in this way. If your child is ever put in a situation where they don’t respond to someone, try not to label them as being “shy”. Instead, you can let the other person know that they’re not feeling like talking right now.

Encourage Them

Instead of trying to finish your child’s sentences for them, encourage them to speak up. Try not to order for them when you’re out to eat at a restaurant. Have them choose what they want and tell the waitress or waiter. They may not always be feeling up to it, but you can give them a chance to try before you step in right away. Practice makes perfect. Over time, they’ll grow more comfortable with being able to order for themselves when they’re in public.

Be a Role Model

Your child pays attention to you more than you may think. They may be watching your every mood and picking up on certain actions and behaviors that you display. You can use this to your advantage and be more mindful of what they’re observing. If your child sees you being confident and speaking up for yourself, they’ll pick up on these behaviors and want to showcase them as well. Be mindful of how you’re speaking to yourself and others so that you can be a good role model for your child.

Celebrate the Small Wins

Small wins lead up to big wins. Make sure you take the time to recognize and celebrate your child’s small wins along the way. The steps towards becoming more confident and speaking up could include things like raising their hand to ask a question or answering a question that a family friend asked them. Let your child know that you’re proud of them for taking these steps. The more you show them praise, the more likely they will repeat these actions again in the future.

Next Steps

If your child is displaying signs of being shy or not speaking out as much as you would hope for their age, you can work with an outside third party to see if there’s a larger issue at play. There’s a good chance that they’re just working on building their confidence, but it’s important to recognize some signs of it being more than just shyness. If your child is avoiding eye contact, having constant temper tantrums, or withdrawing from classmates and activities, it may be time to seek additional support to see what may be causing these types of behaviors.

Reach out today if you’re interested in learning more about child therapy and breaking the silence for your child.