Easing the Transition: Tips to Help Your Child with Separation Anxiety

Saying goodbye to your child is never easy. Dropping them off at their grandparents so you can run errands. Leaving them with a babysitter so you can enjoy a date night or night out with friends. Taking them to school or daycare during your work week.

Some days are easier than others. But then you have those days where they won’t stop crying or clinging onto you for dear life.

Did you know that separation anxiety is actually a totally normal part of childhood? Some children can move past this phase on their own, but for others, it may require a bit more patience, understanding, and additional tools and strategies.

Here are some tips to help ease the transition and help your child deal with separation anxiety.

Practice Makes Perfect

Try to ease your child into being away from you by starting small. Leave your child with a trusted caregiver like a grandparent for short increments, maybe 15-30 minutes. As they adjust to being left with someone else, you can work towards longer timeframes.

You can help ease the transition even more by letting them know when you’re planning on leaving and when you’re going to be back. After they learn that they can count on you to be back and around the time you said you’d be back, their trust will grow.

Create and Stick to a Goodbye Routine

Routines work so well for children because they provide a sense of safety, security, and stability. The same can be said for creating and sticking to a goodbye routine. Predictable routines help your child realize that everything is okay.

You want to make sure that your goodbye routine is short and sweet, as your child’s anxiety can grow if your goodbye lingers. Your goodbye ritual could include something such as a special hug, a phrase like “See you later, alligator!” or a personalized high-five.

Make sure you’re also being mindful of your own emotions. If your child picks up on your feelings of anxiety, worry, or guilt, they may experience feelings of anxiety, fear, and worry as well. Try to remain cool, calm, and confident, even if you are a bit hesitant about leaving them.

Don’t Forget About Your Other Routines

Don’t focus all of your efforts on creating and sticking to a goodbye routine. The other routines are just as important. The more predictable the environment is that you create for your child, the more secure they’ll feel.

Try to create and stick to a good morning routine as well. A solid nighttime routine can help you feel a little more prepared for your morning routine as well. For example, you can handle baths, setting out clothes for the next morning, and packing their bookbag and lunchbox the night before. A consistent morning routine can help you not feel so rushed when you are trying to say goodbye to your child.

Validate Their Emotions

Don’t dismiss how your child is feeling. Instead, let them know that their emotions are valid and it’s okay to feel big things. You can validate their emotions while simultaneously assuring them that you believe in them and their ability to handle it. Don’t feel like you have to fix the problem for them. Instead, acknowledge their emotions, offer them comfort, and work with them to help them move forward.

Next Steps

Keep in mind that your child’s separation anxiety won’t last forever. This is just a phase. It will pass. While it can be challenging to see your child upset, with each successful separation, your child’s confidence will build as well as their sense of independence. With the help of time, patience, and some helpful techniques and strategies, saying goodbye will become easier and easier. Reach out today to learn more about child therapy and for support in helping your child ease their separation anxiety.