Helping Your Child Cope With Divorce: A Guide for Parents

When you got married, you vowed to love one another forever and always, till death do you part. But boy, do the years change you. You and your forever person didn’t end up being forever, after all.

You never imagined divorce for yourself, but you know it’s for the best. If you’re being honest with yourself, this probably would’ve happened a lot sooner if you and your soon-to-be ex didn’t share a child together.

You’re sad for the loss of your relationship, but now all of your efforts are in hyperdrive, making sure your kid understands and can cope through this major life change they’re about to endure.

Consider this a guide for parents. This is how to help your child cope with divorce.

Be Patient

It’s important to be patient with your child, but also with yourself during this time. Allow each of you to adjust to the divorce and this new normal way of living on your own terms.

This adjustment period isn’t a sprint; it’s a marathon. Try to celebrate the small wins as you each work your way to the finish line. Those minor adjustments will add up to big results. They may not understand what or why this is happening right now, but as they grow older, they’ll know that their parents made the best decision for everyone involved.

Work Together

Make sure you and your ex-partner are both showing up for them. While you may not be together 24/7 like your child was used to seeing in the past, it doesn’t mean that you can’t co-parent in a healthy and supportive way. You and your ex should be working to communicate the same thing instead of pointing fingers, placing blame, or speaking ill of the other person when they’re not around.

Be There for Them

Make sure that your child knows that this divorce isn’t their fault. Let them know that you’re there for them when they’re ready to talk about it, ask questions, or share how they’re feeling. Encourage them to be open and honest with you and that you will do the same.

If they feel comfortable and can express their thoughts and feelings, make sure that you’re taking the time to validate them and not just trying to be a problem-solver or preventing them from feeling a certain way. They need to be able to process all of their emotions, even the ones that can be challenging for you to see them experiencing.

Take Care of Yourself

It can be easy to dismiss your own wants and needs as you navigate divorce while parenting a child. But it’s just as important to take care of yourself as you tend to your child. You can’t expect to be able to have the energy or means to support them if you’re not supporting yourself.

Plus, your child picks up on more than you may realize. They’re watching you even when you don’t realize it. Taking care of yourself by fueling your body properly, getting on a proper sleep routine, and implementing healthy coping mechanisms can model great behavior for them to do the same.

Seek Professional Support

Divorce may be a big life change for you, your ex, and your child, but you know you can’t stay together just for your kids. Even though it may be hard to see right now, you all will see how beneficial this decision was and how it’s for the best. If your child is still showing signs of struggling with adjusting to this new normal, consider reaching out to a licensed and trained mental health professional.

Working with a child therapist can help provide you and your child with a safe and secure space to sort through feelings and learn about different coping mechanisms to apply moving forward. Reach out today to set up an initial consultation.