Helping Your Partner Feel Seen and Heard: A Guide to Emotional Validation

Communication is key in any type of relationship. But communicating is a lot more than just speaking your mind and opinion. Communication is a two-way street. Not only does it involve speaking, it also involves listening.

When you’re communicating with a partner, you both need to have an opportunity to speak as well as listen. Even though you’re dating, it doesn’t mean that you’re always going to agree on everything. You’re each your own person. You both have your own goals, wants, needs, values, and beliefs.

Helping your partner feel seen and heard is extremely important in a healthy relationship. If you’re not sure where to start, don’t worry! Consider this a guide to emotional validation.

Actively Listen

One of the best ways to make your partner feel seen and heard is by actively listening. Active listening means putting away or turning off any distractions. This means powering off the television, putting your phone on vibrate or silent, and focusing your eyes on your partner. While your partner is speaking to you, you’re going to give them your full and undivided attention, lean in, and don’t interrupt them. Instead of thinking about what you’re going to say next when they’re speaking to you, wait for them to finish speaking and ask any clarifying questions to make sure you’re both on the same page.

Don’t Dismiss Their Feelings

If your partner is opening up to you, it’s important to not dismiss their feelings. Even if you don’t really understand where they’re coming from or don’t agree with them, you need to show them that it’s going to be okay and that you appreciate that they felt comfortable enough to share with you. You don’t have to always agree with them, but make sure they know that you understand, that you’re there for them, and that everything will be okay.

Show Empathy

Try putting yourself in your partner’s shoes so you can better understand where they’re coming from. This can help you see things from their perspective. When you’re speaking with them, you can reflect or mirror their emotions so that you can show that you’re understanding them and what they’re saying regarding how they’re feeling. Telling them things like you can imagine how they’re feeling or that you understand can show them the empathy that they may need and be looking for during this time.

Don’t Try to Fix Them

It’s important to avoid judgment and trying to fix your partner. They don’t want or need either of those things. You may want to do anything and everything you can to help your partner, especially when they’re feeling down, but unless your partner asks for help, you have to take a seat and wait. You can’t always be there to solve all of their problems, nor do they want or expect this from you. Instead, ask your partner how you can help them. They may just want someone to be there for them, someone to listen to them, or a distraction. Let them tell you what they need, so you can show up to support them in the best way possible.

Next Steps

Communication can be challenging, even with a partner. No matter how long you’ve been together, it’s always something that can be improved upon. If you and your partner are struggling to communicate with one another, you’re not alone. Experiencing some challenges in your communication doesn’t mean that you’re not right for one another. It just means that you need to spend a little more time and effort trying to understand one another. The fact that you took the time to read this post shows how much you care about your partner and your relationship already. If you’re interested in couples counseling and exploring other ways to show empathy and validation, reach out today to set up an initial consultation.