How to Encourage Open Dialogue with Your Teen and Get Them to Listen

You thought you were over the “Terrible Twos” when your child turned three. But here you are over ten years later, and you feel like you’re experiencing déjà vu.

The teenage years aren’t easy. Your teen seems to constantly be pushing your buttons. They ignore you, won’t listen to you, and give you more attitude than you could ever imagine. You’re even starting to wonder how long these years will last because you’d be lying if you said you weren’t already over them.

This is how to encourage open dialogue with your teen and get them to listen.

Listen to Them

Listening is a two-way street. One of the best ways to get your teen to listen to you is to listen to them first. Show them the same amount of respect that you’re hoping they will reciprocate. They’ll be more likely to do the same for you if you show that you care about what’s going on in your life. Try to talk to them without any judgment or prying for more information. Encourage open and honest communication so that your teen is more willing to come to you and share what’s going on in their day-to-day.

Keep Your Emotions in Check

Even if your teen is throwing temper tantrums, you must try to remain calm, cool, and collected. You won’t get anywhere if you’re both yelling or screaming at one another. The next time your teen lets their emotions take control, remember that you’re an adult and cannot let your emotions take the steering wheel. Take a step back, take a few deep breaths, and then respond in a levelheaded way.

Validate Their Emotions

The teen years can be difficult to navigate for everyone involved. Your teen may have switched schools by moving up another grade. They’re having to attend new classes and learn about new subjects. Making new friends and building relationships is another added layer. And on top of all of that, they’re having to balance their school work, friendships, and extracurricular activities.

As a parent, you want what all parents want: for your kids to be healthy and happy. You may want to try to solve all of their problems, but sometimes your teen doesn’t want or need that. The next time they’re feeling stressed or anxious about something, try letting them know that you understand and that what they’re feeling is normal instead of just brushing it off like it’s nothing.

Spend Time Together

The teen years are typically the time when teenagers start to pull away from their family dynamic and choose their friends over hanging out with their parents. Your teen may be doing everything in their power to avoid hanging out with you. That doesn’t mean that you can’t spend any time together. Try to plan family time so that you can engage in positive experiences together.

This could involve things like eating dinner as a family, going on walks around your neighborhood, hitting up the gym together after school and work, or going grocery shopping and cooking meals for the week together. The time spent together should be focused on quality time, not trying to get information out of your teen.

Pay Attention

Even if your teen isn’t willing to open up and share things with you, you’re still their parent, which means you know them, even when you don’t feel like you know who they are anymore. Pay attention to their behaviors and actions. If your teen is showing signs of constant mood swings, low energy levels, changes to their eating and sleeping schedule, or pulling away from their friends and activities, it may be a sign that they need additional support. If you suspect something is wrong, try talking to them about what’s going on.

When both of you are ready, we’re here to help. Reach out to learn more about how teen therapy can help both you and your teen’s mental health during these years.