Setting Boundaries with Love: How to Create Healthy Relationship Limits

When you think of boundaries, what do you think of?

Your mind may immediately start thinking of a line being drawn in the middle of a room. Or maybe it looks like a wall, a circle, or a bubble surrounding a person. Either way, boundaries are often viewed as a harsh ask.

In reality, boundaries are actually essential for all types of healthy relationships. They are necessary no matter the relationship dynamic and whether it’s between family members, friends, romantic partners, or coworkers.

Boundaries help us protect our overall mental health and wellness, ensure that we’re meeting our own wants and needs, and set the expectations that we have in the relationship. If boundaries are something that is new to you, you’re not alone, and it doesn’t mean it’s too late to implement them in your relationships.

This is how to create healthy relationship limits with the help of setting boundaries.

Consider Your Wants and Needs

To get started with setting boundaries, it’s important to take the time to figure out your wants and needs. You can’t communicate what you’re hoping to change in your relationship unless you know what you’re looking for first. Think about what is working, what you and your partner should reassess, and the areas that you would like to see change. Taking the time to think about these areas will help you gain more clarity of the boundaries that you want to see in the relationships in your life to be able to communicate them to others.

Be Open and Honest

Once you figure out what you want your boundaries to be, it’s important to communicate them openly and honestly. Keep in mind that communication is a key component of all types of relationships. You have to be able to have that mutual trust and honesty within your relationship through the good times and especially the challenging times. Allow both parties to communicate their own personal boundaries. Take the time to explain in more detail why you both want to implement specific boundaries. This can help the other person in the relationship see where you’re coming from.

Be Mindful of Your Word Choices

When communicating with your partner, make sure you’re thinking before you speak, trying to leave out any emotions, and being mindful of the words that you’re choosing to use. When you’re speaking about your own boundaries, make sure you’re using “I” statements instead of “you” statements. For example, “I feel this way” goes a lot further in a conversation than “You make me feel this way.” This simple switch in words can help your partner see things from your point of view and better understand how you’re feeling instead of feeling like they have to jump into defense mode to protect themselves from any harsh criticism.

Enforce Your Boundaries

When setting boundaries, keep in mind that you may have to enforce those boundaries. If you set new boundaries in a relationship, give someone the time and grace to work to implement those boundaries. Try not to just allow those mistakes to happen and keep happening, as your partner may not learn to respect them.

Keep reminding and enforcing those boundaries by restating your needs. Try to remain calm when your boundaries are crossed and keep reminding them of the boundaries that you have set.

Next Steps

It is possible to set boundaries with love. If you’re interested in learning and discussing more about boundaries and how to set and enforce them, reach out to us today to see if individual or couples therapy is a well-suited option for you and your needs.