What Is Narcissistic Abuse? How Can You Identify It in a Relationship?

Narcissistic abuse is a type of emotional abuse that is caused by someone who shows signs of narcissistic traits or Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Narcissists are people who have an extreme admiration or interest in themselves. They often believe the world revolves around them, which leaves little to no room, care, or concern for others. This type of personality trait can make it extremely difficult to form healthy relationships.

Let’s learn more about narcissistic abuse and how to identify it in a relationship.

Love-Bombing

A lot of people looking from the outside in have a hard time understanding why someone would continue to endure the type of treatment they receive from a narcissist. But people who deal with narcissistic abuse go through a lot of ups and downs within the relationship, which makes it more difficult to see how much pain their narcissistic partners are actually causing them. These actions and behaviors are also known as love-bombing. Narcissists have a way of showing their partners love and affection to manipulate them so that they can gain more control over them.

Devaluation

The devaluation stage happens after love-bombing. Over time, they’ll slowly start to incorporate criticism, passive-aggressive remarks, and avoid taking responsibility for their own actions and behaviors. Since this devaluation stage occurs after love-bombing, the victim will believe that the sudden and drastic change in their narcissistic partner’s behavior is due to their own fault.

Lack of Boundaries

Boundaries are an essential aspect of all types of healthy relationships. People who are involved with narcissists tend to have little to no boundaries, mostly because narcissistic partners won’t accept or respect their partners’ boundaries. Narcissistic partners will even go as far as doing things that you’ve asked them not to do or disrespecting your privacy.

Gaslighting

Gaslighting is another tactic that narcissists use. This is a form of emotional abuse where a narcissist will manipulate their partner. The manipulation will cause their partner to doubt themselves, their own memories, and their sanity. Gaslighting will cause someone to question their own thoughts and feelings in order to isolate and control them.

Isolation

In healthy relationships, two partners can come together as one but still maintain aspects of their own lives. This includes going to their job, engaging in activities and hobbies, or hanging out with their family members, friends, coworkers, etc. Narcissists have a hard time allowing this to happen. Instead, they’ll try to prevent their partners from having direct contact or access to their family, friends, and support systems as a way to have more control over them.

Lack of Empathy

Narcissists tend to only care about themselves and their own wants and needs. They prefer that the focus be solely on them. They want the spotlight. This makes it extremely difficult to understand, care, or give others empathy.

Loss of Self

Partners who endure narcissists and narcissistic abuse tend to see a loss of their own self-identity and self-worth. Since there is a huge imbalance in the relationship between the two partners, the victim will begin to lose themselves throughout the relationship due to the constant demands of their narcissistic partner.

How to Heal

Recognizing the signs of narcissistic abuse is one of the first steps you can take to start the healing process. Since the abuse is something that is built up over time, it will require time, work, and dedication to fully move forward after experiencing this type of relationship dynamic. Experiencing something like narcissistic abuse can be especially traumatic. A professional support system can help you work through your various thoughts and feelings and find ways to cope and engage in healthier relationships moving forward. Reach out today to learn more with couples counseling.